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A parent’s guide to understanding indian teens

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l.WHAT ARE TEENS MADE UP OF? 17

A) EXPLORING THE ENIGMA: The enigma that your teenager is, calls for a practical and sensible approach with as little panic, hysterics and heartache as can be mustered.

B) PARENTING PRACTICES WE SOMETIMES 20 FORGET: Now that we are ‘ParenTeens’ (parents of teenagers) we really need to ask ourselves what’s a good place to start. Keeping our cool, praising and encouraging our teens, stressing upon the importance of prayer and building up on open communication to cultivate positive habits like responsibility, safety and independence are some

tried and tested routines.

C) MAJOR APPROACHES TO PARENTING: Are you 28 an authoritative, permissive, or democratic ParentTeen? Which approach would you choose?

D) PARENTHOOD’S EVER CHANGING ROLES: 31 Striking the balance between traditional and
contemporary approaches to bringing up today’s young people. The key word is ‘Communication’.

E) DO’S AND DON’T’S OF PARENTING: Great things to say or avoid saying to your kids.

2. THE SCHOOL

A) ACADEMIC, SOCIAL, PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL GROWTH: Experiences gained at school have a great impact on our teens and colour their daily lives in huge proportions.

B) PEERS, FRIENDS ‘N’ FOES, TEACHERS: Teens may need a few pointers on coping with other kids at school along with surviving teachers’ moods and expectations.

C) TEACHER-PARENT RELATIONS: Parents too need to hone their skills in their exchanges with teachers as well as other ParenTeens.

D) BULLYING: A LIFE LESS SATISFYING: Guarding our children against bullying and discrimination must take precedence over everything for today’s bully is tomorrow’s terrorist.

E) GETTING ORGANISED: Responsible parents don’t sit around and wait for tutors to up their kids’ grades. Work as a team with your teens, supporting them through academic challenges.

3. “HUM DO HUMARAY TEENS”

A) NO PLACE LIKE HOME. Every parent strives to ensure that their home is the happiest place on the planet for the family, for it is here that we bring our
joys and successes, our sorrows, disappointments and fears. Winning families are most likely to succeed when established on time-tried principles of truth, faith, love, hope, prayer, repentance, forgiveness and wholesome recreation.

B) IMMEDIATE FAMILY: What are the dynamics of a 75 harmonious family that raises strong, principled

and responsible kids? How to build the family’s spiritual strength and be the source of inspiration and support through open and effective communication that today’s teenagers need.

C) GRANDPARENTS: Valuing tradition and wisdom 86 and nurturing intergenerational identity without losing our focus on raising a child for the modern world.

D) DISTANT RELATIONS: “Friends welcome, 95 relatives only by appointment”. Tactfully sifting the nourishing relationships from the detrimental ones

to shield the family’s legacy of trust and care.

E) SIBLING RIVALRY: What with the entire planet 98 in friction, you’d think at least the kids at home would cut each another some slack, but that would make parents redundant wouldn’t it?

Just when you thought fighting kids was a bad thing, there is also an up side!

F) SINGLE PARENTING: It is hard enough doing the 105 job with a partner but shouldering the responsibility single handedly is certainly an uphill task. Keeping things in perspective, shedding the guilt and being supportive of each other tides many families through hard times. Includes tips on the much-needed stress management for single mums and single dads.
SEX EDUCATION: There is a crying call for all \\\ ParenTeens to shed inhibitions and give their teenagers a talk on personal hygiene, intimacy and its repercussions.

ACADEMIC SUCCESS: Encourage a disciplined 116 regimen with as less distraction as possible to further teenagers’ grades at school. Family support and restraint could well be the key to our teenagers’ academic triumphs.

TIME MANAGEMENT: ParenTeens can help their 120 kids establish a routine, even draw up a timetable and stick to it. When the load gets a bit too heavy, parental support can be vital. Discourage kids from taking the easy way and dispel any myths they seem to pick up about ‘short-cuts’ to future careers.

NEIGHBOURS 125
C) TEACHING OUR KIDS TO HOLD THEIR OWN: 141 Dealing with neighbourhood peer pressures, bullying and competitiveness could help shape our teenagers’ stance and outlook greatly.

D) WARRING NEIGHBOURHOODS: Friction and 145 antagonism from resentment or envy over petty issues can at times escalate to an extreme. Honing

our families’ attitudes may be the solution.

5. INDIAN PARENTEEN 147

A) MUMS AND DADS NEED CARING TOO: Some guidelines to help parents look after their own needs and wellbeing.

B) PARENTEEN MOTHERS: Saluting the Indian 147 mother, the epitome of unconditional, limitless love,

and sacrifice, here is an offer of survival strategies for mum to practise while executing her multiple roles. Includes valuable time and stress management tips for working mothers as well as stay at home mothers.

C) MOTHER, THE CONSCIENCE METER: Nobody 149 imparts the message of faith, hope, love and honest hard work the way a mother can.

D) MOTHER, THE PERSONALITY BUILDER: 155 Mothers can formulate the right attitude in their children while giving the all-important lesson of good public relations and self respect.

E) MOTHER, THE NUTRITIONIST: Planning and 159 executing a healthy, balanced diet is mother’s chief role.

F) STAY AT HOME MOTHERS: Using your time 161 wisely to benefit everyone at home.

G) WORKING MOTHERS: Training teens to assume responsibility in the absence of adults and taking off time to attend to the children’s issues can be a tough sort of balancing act!

H) STRESS AND MOTHERS: Plenty of rest, exercise and relaxation should be woven into the daily schedule of every mother.

I) TIME MANAGEMENTFOR MOTHERS: Knowing when enough is enough and delegating as necessary is one thing a busy mother must learn to do.

J) PARENTEEN DADS: Let it be said that today’s Indian Dad takes his responsibilities very seriously and sincerely. Making your teens your priority, eliminating burnout with effective stress and time management, and being a mentor for your growing youngster is the need of the hour.

K) STRESS MANGEMENT FOR DADS: Exercise and recreation should not take a back seat in a dad’s life.

L) BURNOUT AND HOW TO AVOID: Effective Time management strategies could help avert burnout.

M) MY DAD MY HERO: Be a fun dad and teach the right values by example.

6. MENTAL HEALTH

A) IDENTIFYING THE PRESSURES ON OUR CHILDREN: Recognising stress and depression in our teenagers and helping them work through challenging phases is something the family needs to do together. Again the magic word ‘Communication’ does the trick.

) STRESS AMONG TEENS: The causes, symptoms and 198

ways to control stress before it takes controls of our kids must take precedence over all the other needs.

C) DEPRESSION: ParenTeens should try to ZU4 differentiate between normal hormonal ups and downs and passing mood swings from prolonged gloominess in their kids and become familiar with causes, symptoms and therapies for depression.

D) SELF-ESTEEM: Contributing to the teenagers’ 209 healthy ego is vital. Parents can greatly help build

a healthy self-image and direct their kids’ thinking towards building dynamic personalities. Helping our kids plan towards their ambitions and goals should be a concern for all Indian ParenTeens.

E) THE PARENTEEN AS A PERSONALITY BUILDER: 218 Challenging age-old beliefs and helping kids develop multiple intelligences is the most recent trend in education. ParenTeens can do much to encourage a well-rounded development in their teens. Ambition and strategic planning, setting goals and an analysis of the I.Q. Vs E.Q. debate can greatly contribute to how Indian ParentTeens mould young minds.

7. TEENS AND THE MEDIA 223

A) A WAKE-UP CALL FOR ALL PARENTEENS: Parents need to get more media literate and media savvy in order to first understand the extent of the threats concealed therein and then formulate a modus operandi by which to avail of the benefits that the media offers, skirting as many pitfalls as possible.

CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT THEM AND CAN’T LIVE WITH THEM: India is blessed with a wide diversity of different kinds of neighbourhoods each with its own uniqueness. We cannot overlook the influence of the neighbourhood on growing kids. OF SOCIAL INTEGRATION, ACCEPTANCE AND 128 REJECTION: From the downright annoying to the helpful and supportive, there are neighbours and neighbours. The ParenTeen’s own handling of neighbourhood challenges, keeping up with the Mehtas and maintaining a unique identity could contribute in many ways to their teenagers’ perspective and attitude.

EVEN THE LEISURE PURSUITS NEED 22 BOWDERLISATION: Analyse and control wherever possible, the print media, T.V., Internet, cinema, music and even the PC and Play Station games that your kids are exposed to. Have a discussion about controversial issues with them stressing upon the snares and snags.

WHAT ARE TEENS MADE

A) EXPLORING THE ENIGMA

The enigma that they call teenage years is ( miasma of contradictory actions, behaviou emotions. Your average teenager is a bit like Dr Hyde. There exist varying contradictory personal inside of that kid. The child that used to be is beiri by the adult that wants to materialise overnight £ continues. They appear to us in varying dimensic now immature; now refined, now uncouth, now p detached. One minute they are loving and clingy indifferent the next. Their treatment of us pare between respect and scorn, camaraderie and hos and indifference. They can be the most giving t acutely selfish the next ; devoted family people misanthropes tomorrow.

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